Kristeen Barth: We Don't Have to Be for Everyone

Kristeen Barth

Kristeen Barth

I am pleased to be able to share a guest post from my friend Kristeen Barth from my Co-Active Leadership Program Tribe. I like her message that we don’t have to be everyone’s cup of tea. Here is Kristeen:

In addition to my day job, I am a yoga teacher. In my yoga classes, I like to share ideas that will challenge my students’ preconceptions and make them think. I remember the day when I shared with my yoga class this beautiful quotation from Rumi:

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there.

What I love about this quote is that I believe people go to “right and wrong” much too quickly, when putting a value on conversation and relationship would be more valuable.   

Rumi’s words caught the students’ attention. I was offering an opportunity for them to reflect on it as they spend the next 60 minutes practicing on their mat, making themselves right or wrong in a certain posture, or during a given transition. I set them up to notice what was new for them or what has been reawakened, if anything when they stepped off the mat.  I felt energized throughout class.  Feeling my words come together in response to what I was experiencing in the room, reflecting my energetic connection to the individuals and community I was leading.  

After class, as I thanked students for joining me, one regular stopped me and asked me to repeat the quote I shared in the beginning of class. 

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there. 

He asked me if there was a more concise meaning, something a little more easily remembered.  I said something like “we have choices and the only person that can decide if my choices are right or not is me.”  He couldn’t wait to share this idea with his partner.

Then another woman stopped to share her thoughts.  She told me I should be careful what I share, that there are some obvious rights and wrongs in the world.  I asked for an example.  Murder.  Murder is objectively wrong.  Well, what if you are protecting your child?  Is it still wrong?  And who decides if it’s wrong?  She was so agitated.  Well, if we didn’t have right and wrong, we wouldn’t have a civilized society.  As our conversation came to a close and she moved toward the locker room, and me onto the next student, I thanked her for thinking about what I said.  I thanked her for not just taking my words and making them her words.  I share not to change the minds of others, but as an opportunity for thought, reflection, consideration, rumbling with ideas and beliefs.  I wonder if she’ll return to my class.  I think I really struck a chord with her, maybe even angered her.

Conversation with others continued in the lobby.  The male student from earlier shared with me his upbringing in Catholicism —very much perceiving his and others’ actions as right and wrong and while that had many positive impacts on who he is today, he is revisiting the idea.  Does it still fit?  What good is it doing?  What harm is it doing?  I could engage in this level of conversation for days.  

In all of the work I do, teaching yoga, facilitating corporate leadership and development programs and supporting women to lead their life on purpose, I request and receive direct feedback.  This is vulnerable. I continue to practice my relationship with feedback and the meaning I make of the feedback.

Here are some of the thought I use to help stay open to feedback and to reduce the pain of hearing critical feedback:

1. We are not for everyone.  And if we want to be for everyone, we’ll be for no-one. 

Where I live, the yoga community is very active, with many studios and a seemingly endless number of yoga teachers.  I sometimes wonder how there can be so many teachers.  What I’ve come to know, is that not every teacher is for every student.  This was very apparent to me in my story above.  And if I want to play in the middle, I will, at best, only connect with a very limited number of students.  

2. Feedback provides an opportunity to see what’s working, what the world wants from me

This feedback is gold.  It points me to who resonates with my work.  It points me to where I am able to light a fire, a fire that others want to gather around.  And in that process, I’m able to refine what I am doing in order to have the greatest impact on the communities and conversations I care about most.

3. Above good marks, it’s engagement that matters

Contrary opinions do not mean I am not a “good” teacher. I think a good teacher, like a good coach, is able to stir things up in a safe, constructive way. I appreciate participants for thinking about the content or experience enough to have a response.  I thank them for being engaged enough to argue with me or challenge what’s there.  To me, life is about continued growth. The woman mentioned earlier, perhaps as she was pushing against the Rumi quotation, I was a part of her process of getting more clear on what she stands for and what she believes in. What a gift to be part of someone else’s growth.

Kristeen Barth is a champion of leaders. Whether you are looking to take up your leadership in your personal or professional life, Kristeen is an accessible, compassionate, truthful and supportive collaborator who will NEVER give up on you!

Kristeen supports individuals stepping into a new role or joining a new team become clear on the unique value and impact they bring to their organization. She helps you take the risks necessary to be the most meaningful version of yourself. There is nothing more powerful than having a trusted partner when navigating important decisions and building critical relationships.

Kristeen facilitates introspection and transformation – along with joy, laughter and learning. She loves the adventure of being alive. Her enthusiasm for and dedication to growth allow each individual to become more authentic, creative and expressive, while leading their life on purpose.

Kristeen is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC) through the Coactive Training Institute, Associate Certified Coach (ACC) through International Coach Federation and is trained in Agile Coaching and Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching. As a senior leader in a financial services organization, Kristeen guides leaders of all levels to learn new techniques for bringing the best in themselves and those around them.  She is also a certified vinyasa yoga teacher, holds a BS in Technology Management and an MBA from the University of Wisconsin – Madison.

Here is her contact information:

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